Life
this week has been so so eventful and stressful.i felt so so much growth in myself as well. some dude named billy graham said"mountaintops are for views and inspiration, but fruit is grown in the valleys".this is so true and my week really showed me that it was.i had many great things and not so good things happen to me.
1 thing that stand out especially in the negative aspect would be doing a 3 page essay&2projects on tuesday night.i was doing my essay through night to the a.m. and my computer as old as it is probably a teeny or close enough and my internet which i had to use to research my stuff crashes.that night my comp froze...i was SO mad ah tried many times to get a response from the comp so closed it and opened it again multiple times and it wouldn't go on or go to safe mode so i just slept.woke up around 8 when my school starts.my essay not done.would miss my second train if i walked then so turned it on and recovered yes!did the rest and worked on my projects went on 3rd train finished them on train got to school around 1040 missed first 2 blocks(80 min/block) out of 5.i got credit for essay in history did okay&the 2 projects turned out good for english.
another thing was prayer group writing the ACTS or prayers for them.started writing them on wednesday night but was drained and it totally sucked and so fake.so i slept and spent my health care block(cuz sub was in and had nothing to do)doing it.study skills elective(40 mins)doing it.also after school stayed just to work on it.then went to my library after and worked on it.then prayed about it.went through prayer group did aight coulda done better.my friend maria came =] my mom was there too.
my thoughts honestly-those two things that happened were SO SO SO stressful but in the end it was great.like during the struggles i would pray and like when i started prayer meeting it was good and when i got the work done for school i was relieved especially when it said "recovered document".also for a long while i've thought that everywhere from cfcyouth,school,afterschool,parties i would be just not part of the group and alone/lonely.felt like i couldnt go to anyone.i even probably could call it loss of trust in Him.even girls overtook my mind again and got me more focused on them than G-o-d.but this week really changed the way i see things.first off you have to let yourself into the group instead of just watching others. also that through my AMAZING gifts He blessed me with... friends have shown me that i am not alone by showing me they care.i cant wait for someone to come i have to go to someone or else i'll be stuck in my sadness,sorrow,etc.also trying to be the person i wanted someone to be for me was good.and thinking i am not good enough to have Him in my life.try to be that person to include everyone and help those that may have felt the same way i did.haha...girls...
i told my friend i thought this girl was pretty and he told her.she said i was cute too wtv.i guess it was false hope that drove me to like her.also not talking to her.but i did she's a cool girl but just like in the beginning now i just want to be friends.i figured out why i liked so many girls.haha today i really just stopped and looked around and just saw the beauty in so many of them.from their smiles to how they helped others.idk i just noticed that i liked so many cuz when i saw beauty i automatically thought oh man, she's the one.i have been in a few relationships no gf yet though,well the one i did have...had better friendships than that.all giving my heart away to them would bring heartache to them but also to me. because there is so much out there i cant commit to just one.there is just so much beauty out there if you really stop to see it.in every person no matter if they are a saint or a slut everyone has beauty just some its harder to see than others.and thats why i wait for true love,wait for the one God made for me.because i know His plan is perfect and who He has made for me will,in my eyes,be more beautiful than any girl on this earth.and i can wait because i got to be patient even if for the past 11 years of my life i've been making girls the one instead of waiting for the one He has given me.
haha since this week was like valleys like that quote above i feel you grow when you are in your hardest times.this is because you have to make the choice to get up again.the deeper you are hurting the harder it is to get up and helps you really grow.i know a few sisters and brothers that have been going through hurt and pains friends as well and just for them to be stronger and takes up the choice to stand up again really inspires me.because i've fell over the same hole multiple times still do and when you cry for forgiveness and give your heart up to Him and you keep falling it hurts so much and you feel like giving up and you dont deserve His love.this week i really looked at myself and before i really was a mess but now im getting all the pieces back together.and finally feel like i am changing like the autumn leaves.look and stop falling over the same hole.and get on the road where i can truly fully give my all to Him.
Seasons Change-like autumn we all change sometimes its good and sometimes bad and sometimes it takes a while and others not,we choose what we want it to be.like winter we have times where we feel desolate alone afraid unworthy or lonely and we may isolate ourselves.like spring we have new beginnings, grow into whatever we mold ourselves into, and possibly blossom into something more beautiful than we are already,and summer the times where you feel alive and just have amazing joy and feel so amazing,great and special.years are made up of these four seasons like our lives will have the saddest times and our happy times which help us change and grow.
for me instead of life taking over me i feel more in control and i can take over my life.after the many times i fall i feel like getting back up.and no one you or me are ever alone.you have family and your friends.if you dont then rethink.you have me even if not everyone comes to talk to me.i am here its just i may not overadvertise it.and helping you,my friends, is the greatest help in my life.when you help others you help yourself.and when you feel no one,your friends,your family, aren't there for you there is Jesus Christ.He is always there and just waits for you to come to Him.prayer is anything whether it is the our Father or just talking to Him like He was one of your friends that is prayer.i'll pray for you and thank you for actually reading this...you care i love you!=] peace&lovefromAbove.take care&God bless always, Dan.
Chatboard (1)